Smiling in the Rain
by misaoshiru
Summary: March, 1868: Kenshin's just started his wandering. After he blacks out from emotional and physical exhaustion, a young woman tries to bring back his smile. (Oneshot; mild KT in one scene)


Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. I only own two dvds, six vhs tapes, the first twelve volumes of the manga, and a computer containing way too many pictures of him. Rurouni Kenshin is owned by Nobuhiro Watsuki and all those evil empires, and I'm not making a penny from this.

Note: I realize that with the rare times where I use "de gozaru" in this fic, it is often used in a grammatically incorrect manner. That is because the Japanese and English sentence structures are not the same, and to use it correctly would mean to have the entire sentence in Japanese or have a sentence like, "Sessha fine de gozaru." First off, the "fine" in that sentence looks like it might be a Japanese word, but aside from that, the sentence doesn't make sense in English or Japanese. This is why I do not use "de gozaru" often; when I do, it's just for emphasis of Kenshin's style of speech. Sorry.

**Smiling in the Rain**  
_ By Misaoshiru_

A sudden chill wind tugged at the leaves of the trees bordering the quiet country road and caused Himura Kenshin to shiver a little. The early March weather had been surprisingly nice thus far, but when this day dawned with dreary gray clouds blocking out the sun, the rurouni knew it wouldn't last. He felt the first drop of spring rain on his head, and his hopes for a dry day of traveling were dashed; he'd just have to make it to the village before it started raining too hard. A sudden wave of dizziness overtook him, and he fell to his knees. He cursed; it wasn't the first time that this had happened in recent memory, but it was by far the worst, and his body sometimes had the most rotten timing he could imagine.

He sat there until the world stopped spinning and went to continue his journey. 'This one must be coming down with something,' he thought to himself. 'This one should visit a doctor as soon as he reaches the next village, but for now, it's more important to worry about getting out of this rain.' He managed to continue walking for about ten more minutes before his head began hurting again. It was even worse this time around, and he barely managed to retain consciousness, but at least he was able to remain upright with the help of his sakabatou. There was no time for him to just stand there and wait for it to pass, as the rain was beginning to fall harder even then. He willed himself to move forward, using the sakabatou as a cane, and kept going, but the headache refused to go away. It just grew worse as he walked, making him sweat despite the cold rain.

"Are you all right, sir?" someone asked. Funny, he could've sworn that he was the only person on this trail. Painfully, he raised his gaze from the ground in front of him to see that, indeed, there was someone else on the trail. It was a young woman about his age with short, dark hair and a pale green kimono.

"Sessha is fine de gozaru," he said with some difficulty, his head still pounding excruciatingly. "How…how far is it to the next village?"

"About half a kilometer. Why?"

"Damn…not gonna make it…" That was when everything went black, and Kenshin fell.

* * *

Hayashi Ayame had been going to town to buy some cloth for her mother when she saw him. His red hair had caught her eye; she had never seen anyone with hair that color before! And it was such a contrast to the dull gray tint this day had taken on. Even so, it didn't take a doctor to know that the man wasn't feeling well, particularly when he collapsed. The girl knew she had to get help for the young man somehow, but how? She couldn't carry him all the way to the village by herself. So she ran. 

She found herself standing in the doorway to the local general store, gasping for breath. She had ran as much of the way as she could, slowing to a fast walk partway there until she got her energy back and ran again. "Ayame-chan!" the elderly man at the counter called out to her cheerily. "It's been a while! Have you been chasing Yuuda-kun again?"

"Sorry, Kani-san," she replied, "but I'm in a hurry. And you know well that the only times I chase my brother are when he deserves it."

"Fair enough," he chuckled, "but what are you here for if you are in such a hurry?"

"Because…I wanted to ask you. Do you know where Oushi-san is right now?"

"At the Meshi-ya. Why?"

"Nothing! Bye!"

Kani chuckled to himself again as she left the store. "Kids today have so much energy. I'm glad I lost that years ago; I prefer the quiet."

* * *

Fortunately, the Meshi-ya was not far from the general store, and true to Kani's word, Ayame found Gekko Ine sitting at his usual table at the restaurant. "If it isn't Ayame-chan," he drawled in his deep bass voice. "Have a seat. Should I order anything for you, little flower?" Ine was a large man, about six feet tall and quite muscular. He was the strongest man in the village, the one who everyone came to for help carrying the heavy things, and everyone called him Oushi, meaning "ox." 

"Oh, no thank you, Oushi-san. I came here because I need your help, quickly!"

"What's yer problem, then?"

"I was heading to town to buy Mother some fabric, when this man on the road collapsed suddenly!"

"And you need my help to bring him here, I take it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Damn, there goes another lunch. Yesterday, it was fixing Kenkyo-kun's roof, and the day before, it was Furi-chan's groceries…"

"We can fix you food, Oushi-san."

"Oh, you don't need to do that, Ayame-chan. I couldn't stand to leave a person like that. Besides, that smile of yours is enough to convince me. Now you show me where this guy is."

Ayame looked up at him and smiled.

* * *

_Kenshin was walking a road that seemed to go on forever. Birds cheerily chirped in the trees surrounding him, the weather was perfect, and every time the wind blew, it seemed to whisper sweet reminders of all the pleasant memories he had of his childhood. Then, everything went still, and the birds stopped chirping. The path led up a hill, and he followed it blindly, but when he reached the top, he learned what was wrong. There was a group of bandits killing innocents, just like what had happened the brief time he was in the hands of slave traders. But this time, he could do something about it. This time, _he _was in control. He ran down the hill, sakabatou in hand, and defeated the bandits quickly. But he was too late as always. All of the innocent people they had been attacking were dead, and even worse, so were the bandits. That wasn't the sakabatou in his hand; it was a katana. The dead rose up and shrilly screamed, "Hitokiri! Kill him! He deserves it!" They surrounded him, closing in, when _she _appeared._

"_Stop," she whispered, and they did. They fell back to the ground and disappeared, as if no one had been there before._

_Kenshin looked at her in awe and adoration. "__Tomoe…"

* * *

_

"Ayame-san, will he wake up?" a young girl asked while watching Ayame bathe Kenshin's forehead with a cool washcloth.

"He will, Tobu-chan, don't you worry," the older girl answered, smiling at her.

"Will he be okay?"

"Of course he will."

A motherly figure sitting in a corner of the room chided her. "Daughter, you don't want to get her hopes up. After all, that man has been out for a while now."

"I know, Mother, but…it's easier to handle life if you stay positive."

"I'm sorry, Ayame-chan. I forgot already. You've just gotten so good at hiding your sadness ever since Baiu…"

"I'd prefer not to talk about it." Ayame was still smiling, but sorrow flashed in her eyes.

"Of course. I'm sorry. My memory must be going. I'm getting to be too old."

"You aren't getting old, Mother. You look as beautiful as ever."

"You're such a flatterer, Ayame. I don't know how I can stand living in the same house as you." The two women chuckled, and Tobu smiled.

Ayame gently stroked the unconscious rurouni's scar and thought to herself, 'I hope he wakes up soon.'

* * *

_"Tomoe…I haven't seen you in so long. I've missed you."_

"_And I've missed you, anata. But it is not your time yet. It will be a while before we see each other again."_

"_When?"_

"_I do not know yet. But you must continue to live, for me. The end of your life must not come so soon."_

"_Will things get better?"_

"_I cannot answer that either. But just know that things will only get as much better as you allow them to." And after saying these words, Tomoe disappeared._

"_Tomoe!"

* * *

_

"Ayame-san!" Tobu happily squealed. "He's waking up!"

Sure enough, Kenshin's eyelids fluttered open, and he said in a groggy voice, "Where is…?"

"You're in Ayame-san's house!" little Tobu piped up.

"In Subire Village," Ayame added.

"How long was this one out?"

"About a day."

"That long? Really?"

"Yes. You're mentally, and likely emotionally, exhausted, and you were running a fever as well. It doesn't come as much of a surprise that you were out for that long, when you think about it. You were lucky."

"What's your name, mister?" Tobu asked cheerily.

"Himura Kenshin de gozaru. And you?"

"Tobu desu. And that's Ayame-san and her mommy!"

"Ah. How old are you, Tobu-dono?"

"Six! Ken-nii, you speak funny! I like it!"

"Do you?"

"Very much! How old are you, Ken-nii?"

"Nineteen."

"Cool! Ayame-san is…one, two, three…" The little girl counted on her fingers and bare toes before finally saying, "Eighteen! And Ayame-san's mommy is too old for me to count."

The motherly woman glared death at the little girl, while Ayame just laughed. "Yes, Tobu-chan's right. I'm eighteen."

"That insolent little…" Mrs. Hayashi muttered to herself while glowering at Tobu.

"Mother, she didn't mean it."

"I know, dear, but…"

"Are you hungry, Ken-nii?" Tobu asked, completely unaware of the women's argument.

"A little, perhaps."

"Good, 'cuz it's lunch time. Right, Ayame-san?"

"Yes, it is. Though it's actually a rather late lunch."

"That's quite all right with this one, de gozaru." Ayame and Tobu led him to the porch (fortunately, the rain had stopped) while Mrs. Hayashi made the final touches on the meal. She brought the food out to them, and they ate.

Kenshin set down his onigiri after a few bites and said, "This is good, umm…"

"My name is Hayashi Kumori, but you can just call me Kumori."

"You are a good cook, Kumori-dono."

"Aye, that she is," drawled a voice from above them.

"Oushi-san!" Ayame smiled.

Tobu grabbed his ankle. "Oushi-nii!"

"What brings you here, Oushi-san?" Kumori asked politely.

"You know I can't resist yer cooking, Kumori-san. It's my favorite thing in the world."

Ayame teased, "I thought my smile was your favorite thing in the world, Oushi-san."

"Aye, that too." He turned to Kenshin. "Well, looks like yer feeling better now. Good to see you up and about. What's yer name, boy?"

"Himura Kenshin."

"Well, Himura-kun, yer rather lucky, y'know that?"

"So this one has gathered."

" 'This one,' eh? Yer a strange boy, but I like you. 'Course, I'll like you more if you grab me a rice ball!" He chuckled, his laugh deep and throaty. Kenshin chuckled too and complied, and the afternoon rolled on.

* * *

After lunch, Kumori took Tobu home, the girl complaining about how she'd have to take a nap when she got home, and Oushi left to go help a neighbor move. Kenshin was restless and started out to the fields to think. 

"Where do you think you're going, Himura-san?" Ayame asked.

He turned to face her. "Just for a walk."

"Not in your state, you aren't. Why do you think you blacked out? Because you've been exhausted. I won't have a person whom I took it upon myself to help doing something stupid that will get himself hurt."

"Which is why this one is not going to go far. I just need a chance to think."

She sighed. "Then I'll go with you. Someone needs to be there if you faint again, you know?"

He smiled at her. "Thank you, Ayame-dono." They walked together in comfortable silence for several minutes before Kenshin said, "This one will have to leave as soon as he is well again."

"Why? Because you're the Hitokiri Battousai?"

Kenshin's eyes widened. "How…?"

"I just know. I'll keep it a secret if you want, though… You're just like my husband said you were."

"Your husband?"

"Yes. His name was Hayashi Baiu, and he was a samurai." Kenshin didn't miss the "was." Ayame took a deep breath before continuing. "Kumori-san isn't really my mother. She is Baiu's, but his family adopted me as their own, even though I was but a simple farmer's daughter. We were so happy, but…then the Bakumatsu happened. He was recruited by the Bakufu late in the war and was sent to Kyoto. He died at the end of January, after being wounded in the battle at Toba- Fushimi."

Kenshin began to dread what she'd say next as she collected herself, gently rubbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her kimono. She wouldn't allow herself to cry.. "But…the surprising part, he said, was what happened after the battle. He was surrounded by dead bodies and barely still alive. But when he regained consciousness, you…you were carrying him to get medical treatment, and for that, I thank you." She looked into his eyes, smiling despite the tears in her eyes that threatened to pour down.

After hearing Ayame's story, he remembered what had happened that day, after he had abandoned his swords. It had been his first step to repentance, the first of possible thousands.

* * *

_As he had been walking, desperate to leave the battleground, Himura Kenshin saw the man's eyes close. He wondered; could the man still be alive? A check of the man's pulse told him that yes, the man was still among the living, but if nothing was done then he wouldn't be for long. Fortunately, the man wasn't particularly heavy or tall, so Kenshin managed to carry him piggyback. As he walked, the man on his back woke up. "Red hair…" the man murmured quietly. "Are you…?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Then why? We are on opposing sides, so why are you helping me?"_

"_Because, no matter what side you're on, you're a human being. I'm done fighting; all I want now is to repent for all the lives I have taken."_

"_You're a strange person, Battousai-san."_

"_Don't call me that, please. My name is Himura Kenshin."_

"_Himura-san, then."_

"_That works, I suppose. And you are…?"_

"_Hayashi Baiu."_

_Kenshin took Baiu back to his comrades, who were more than a little shocked to see him on the back of the Hitokiri Battousai, but they didn't dare complain. Then, Kenshin left, Baiu murmuring his thanks behind him._

* * *

No wonder the name "Hayashi" had sounded familiar. "It…must be hard for you," he said quietly. 

"It is," she admitted. "But I can tell that you've lost someone important to you, as well."

"How…?"

"Like I said before, you are going through physical and emotional fatigue. I can tell. As physically exhausted as you were, that wasn't enough to cause you to black out for two whole hours. I just guessed about the 'losing someone important to you' part, and I take it I was right. I know what you're going through, though. My advice is that life is easier if you go through it with a smile."

"A smile?"

"Yes. Even a sad smile serves as a handy distraction from stress. No one can live very long if they allow their sorrow to take control, so a smile helps show it who's boss."

"This one thinks he gets what you mean. You are a wise girl."

"I'd be wiser if it hadn't taken me so long to figure that out."

She smiled at him, and Kenshin smiled back. She was right; it did help.

* * *

"Ken-nii is leaving already?" Tobu asked sadly. "I'll miss you." 

"And this one will miss you too, Tobu-chan." Kenshin ruffled her hair gently.

"Will you come back?"

"Maybe someday," he smiled.

"You'd better not forget us, Himura-san," Ayame teased.

"Of course this one won't! You don't need to worry."

"Goodbye!" they all called out as he walked away.

"Sayonara."

* * *

The End.

* * *

Japanese terms/cultural references  


Anata: "You." It can be a term of endearment, as it is used here.

Ayame: "Iris." (So named based on what Okami says in the OVA, that irises are so conspicuous in the rain. Ayame is supposed to be like that, most obvious in the "rain," or times of sadness, because of her beautiful sad smile. Or at least, that's the way I'd intended it…) Note: has nothing to do with the little girl, Ayame, in the TV series.

Baiu: "Rainy season."

Bakufu: The side of the government during the Bakumatsu. It's actually used as a name for more than that, but that's how it's used in this fic.

Bakumatsu (no Douran): The revolution that changed the government from the Tokugawa Shogunate to the Meiji era.

Chan: Honorific. Used for girls at your age or younger or for small children.

De gozaru: "Is/are/am." It's a very archaic, formal version of the verb desu. Use it in modern Japan and get laughed out of the country. XD

Desu: "Is/are/am." It's relatively informal, but it's the basic verb. More or less.

Dono: Honorific. A very archaic honorific. Its English equivalent would most likely be "milady" or "milord."

Half a kilometer: For those of you who aren't familiar with the metric system, (like me XD) half of a kilometer is about one-third of a mile. If Kenshin were feeling well, one-third of a mile wouldn't really be all that far, but since he's rapidly losing consciousness… As for Ayame not being able to run the whole way, _I_ can't run one-third of a mile without stopping. And she's wearing a kimono, which is rather constricting… (Note: I wanted to use a more historically accurate measurement, as Japan probably still had yet to adopt the metric system, but I couldn't find much information about the systems of the time. I may come back and fix this later, but for now, I'm leaving it as is.)

Hayashi: "Woods." It just sounded like a good surname. :shrugs:

Ken-nii: It's what those little girls call Kenshin in the TV anime. Basically, it's "big brother Ken." Same goes for "Oushi-nii." "Big brother Oushi."

Kumori: "Cloud."

Kun: Honorific used primarily for males at your age or rank or below.

Manners of speech: Most people in this fic use the traditional Japanese manner of speech, which is written as the equivalent to regular English. Kenshin is written with his normal manner of speech as a rurouni, as rendered in Viz's translation of the manga. Oushi uses a different dialect, so I wrote his speech accordingly, with an English dialect. (Not from around those parts? Maybe. It just seemed to fit, though I tried not to overwhelm anyone.)

Meshi-ya: Meshi is a men's word for "rice" or "meal." –Ya is a suffix attached to the end of a store's name. So basically, "meal store." Fitting name for a restaurant, ne? XD

Onigiri: "Rice ball." Simple enough. Though…it's actually more of a rice triangular prism. XD

Oushi: As mentioned in the fic, it means "ox." Very appropriate name, I think.

San: Very basic honorific. Means the same as "Miss," "Mr.," or "Mrs."

Sayonara: I really hope that you know that this means "goodbye." XD

Short hair: Ayame's haircut is a symbol. In Japan, it's traditional to cut your hair short when going through grief. I actually meant to include more about this, but I didn't get around to it. Sorry.

Subire: The village is named after the lavender plant. There is no particular reason behind this other than that it sounded like a good name for a village.

Toba-Fushimi: The turning point of the Bakumatsu was a battle that occurred between the villages of Toba and Fushimi. It was Kenshin's last battle before he left the war.

This one: Simplified translation of "sessha," the word Kenshin always uses to refer to himself. The actual, literal translation would be "this unworthy one," but that would be rather awkward. I used the version from Viz's translation of the manga.

Yuuda: Short for "Yuudachi," meaning "rain shower." I'd originally intended for this character to make an actual appearance but couldn't fit it in. Oh well. As for all of the rain-themed names in Ayame's family…it was just me having fun. XD No greater symbolism than that, folks.

* * *

Author's Notes:  
I have no idea how this fic ended up so long. It just…happened. XD But I'm satisfied with it, and that's what matters, right? The glossary was over a page long… XD So I'll shut up now. Hope you enjoyed!

P.S.: Just so you know, I haven't forgotten about SHBD or SiSF. I just have writer's block. I hate writer's block. XD


End file.
